One man’s reply to a woman’s 10 wants that she feel men must know

Here I am listing 10 points that a woman claimed that most of the women feel, it’s better men know them and fallow them. And also I am giving my reply to each and every point.

(Note: here “we” means men and “you” means our partners, I an not saying this to any specific person, but in general to the life partners/girlfriends of men)

1. We love the way you courted us jab we met. The texts, calls, flowers, chocolates, cards, airport pick-ups, weekends away. Please don’t stop this when you know you ‘have us’.

Why we men need to shower you with gifts, flowers and etc always. Can’t you just understand that man loves you? Initially we are in a mood to impress you and want to get attention from you so we do all these. Once we get your love, we are in love. it’s a beginning of the next stage. Here, even we don’t shower you with gifts, we care for you a lot. We do many things when you are in need but may not shower you with gifts and try to impress you all our life. We are not jobless, please understand that.

2. We like security and a feeling of familiarity. Give us a chance to get to know you, before hitting on us.

Security granted. But We too like to know familiarity so we do have different methods to check that.

3. We want to be treated as ladies. Not as unequals. We don’t expect you to open every door and foot every bill, but it doesn’t mean we don’t find your gestures of genuine chivalry very attractive. Even the most independent woman wants to feel she is treasured and adored as an object of beauty, just as long as it doesn’t go so far that the man insists on making her every decision.

So, women want equality, at the same time like to be pampered with chivalry. What kind of equality it is? chivalry is chauvinism. Even if we do show chivalry initially, please oppose it. It helps us to develop a good feeling about you, and we will recognize the importance of equality. Pay the bills, if not always at least sometimes, don’t say it. please .. just do it. we always recognize that.

4. We like to talk. This does not mean we are asking for your opinion or that we want you to magically fix all our problems. Mostly, we just need to vent. And we love it so much when you really hear us. Listen cos that’s all you need to do.

We like to keep everything simple. Especially talks. If it is about a our favorite movie or cricket we too talk endlessly. But it is about a problem, which may not be a problem or really a problem, we feel little bit uncomfortable to listen that without doing anything about it. We generally try to solve it. Remember we like solving the problem, not listening it endlessly.

5. We expect you to remember relationship landmarks. You love technology, so when we tell you our anniversary is coming, or our birthday, put it in your planner, so you remember. You remember meetings, and cricket scores, so remember birthdays, it’s not that hard.

Remembering landmarks is not a big Issue these days, we can simply put it on calender or facebook or some other remainder tool. So, It’s granted. You can expect that and we don’t disappoint you.

6. We love an excuse to get dressed up. Give us the chance to sizzle in our glam wardrobe. Don’t get nervous if other guys look at us. Remember we’re on your arm.

Thank you. But, we too love to see beauty and admire it. So, In the street, if we see any other beauty and admire her don’t feel nervous. Because, the women we admire is safely in the arms of her man, just as you are in my arms. So, don’t be nervous, nothing will happen.

7. Keep your promises. We like simple courtesies. Be on time, do whatever you said you were going to, and if things have changed, muster up the courage to tell us upfront.

Granted. And we just expect little bit courtesy kindness from you, if things change or we fail to do them because of some reasons.

8. Love for us begins in the mind. Just like you like the sensuous curves, we like the dinners, romance and dreamy conversation. 

Granted, as far as you don’t criticize us for loving your curves and stereotype us as “men always think that way” or sex-maniacs.

9. We also love sports, (I am a martial arts and a basketball player) but it does not mean that it has to be the same game you play. 

Granted, we just ask you to not disturb us while we are in gaming mode and watching our favorite game.

10. We don’t want you to give up on guys nights. Believe it or not, we understand that you need space. We love our all-girl time as well. 

Thank you. Have a nice all-gril time, we don’t mind.

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Published in: on February 13, 2013 at 9:33 pm  Comments (12)  

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12 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. “So, women want equality, at the same time like to be pampered with chivalry. ”
    Can you please not generalise something one woman claimed to all ‘women’? I can tell you for sure that there was no all-woman meeting where we agreed on this. We’re all individuals.

  2. @ carvaka

    How biased is your stance and just reeks of hypocrisy.

    The same is true for men too but that doesn’t stop feminist bloggers from making sweeping generalizations about how all/majority of men (especially Indian) are lecherous, are raised to be obedient sons but spineless & uncaring husbands and so on.

    This biased attitude is further extended to the husbands’ families especially their mothers by painting a monstrous image (which so untrue) even when the reverse is obvious (ie the DIL is evil)

    Please play fair.

  3. @ carvaka

    There’s something I like to add – one of the favorite arguments which is advanced by the Indian feminists to conceal the wicked nature of daughters-in-law who mistreats her in-laws is the strong patriarchal nature of our society.

    Then how do we explain the several caustic comments made by the wives & girlfriends in the west who routinely criticize their MILs and call their husbands/bfs as mama’s boys (a very amusing term) for loving their family.

    The west is known for its independent nuclear family system (with no parental ‘intervention’ from either side; if at all you choose to you use the word ‘intervention’) and yet, the online forums are rife with malicious comment/attacks on the husband/mils by these ‘aggrieved?’ daughters-in-law.

    This does burst the bubble (the patriarchal set-up)) used by some feminists/women to defend the true wicked nature of such Indian dils.

    Thanks 🙂

  4. @ Aakash, please read my comment again. Since I didn’t actually make any of generalisations on men’s attitudes that you have listed in your two comments, I don’t see how my stance reeks or hypocrisy? If anything, this shows your assumptions and biases!

    I will again say, we are all individuals. You may have an issue with some women generalising attitudes of men. However, I am not responsible for views of other people. How are the things mentioned in your comment at all relevant to me when I did not in fact say any of that? Did I say that I represent anyone other than myself? How did you assume that any of those things mentioned in your comments are my views? You did exactly the one thing I protested in my comments, i.e. generalise.

    Also “There’s something I like to add – one of the favorite arguments which is advanced by the Indian feminists to conceal the wicked nature of daughters-in-law who mistreats her in-laws is the strong patriarchal nature of our society.”
    Again, what did this have to do with my comment about generalisations? Do you regularly go off topic in conversations or is this a special event?

  5. @carvaka

    ‘Do you regularly go off topic in conversations or is this a special event?’

    Well, that’s an assumption that you just made about me. You have already voiced your biased opinions elsewhere so it isn’t a generalization that I make.

    Now, you needn’t deny it because it’s a fact.

    And, what makes you think that the opinion mentioned here on this blog is that of ONE woman and it is being applied to all?

    What made you say that?

  6. I actual asked you a question there instead of generalising that I knew something about you (see the ‘?’). If you are so sure that the off-topic claims in your comments are my views, you are free to debate them when you see them. My comment did not mention any of what you said. That’s your assumption of what you think I believe. I don’t see how any of it is relevant to my original comment.

    “And, what makes you think that the opinion mentioned here on this blog is that of ONE woman and it is being applied to all?”
    The first line of the post says ‘Here I am listing 10 points that a woman claimed that most of the women feel’. Note “a woman claimed”.

    The reason I asked the poster not to generalise is that I simply don’t agree with what the thread apparently claims I want. I am very happy to not have/give gifts, pay half of every bill and rely on fb etc to remember dates. I know many other women who are too. Why so much protest over asking not to generalise? Surely the poster would be happy to know that not all women have the issues he has tried to disambiguate.

  7. @carvaka

    Yes, a question based on a very wrong assumption made by you.

    Even if I believe you for a moment that your stated intentions are genuine, (to not have gifts etc.) you ‘alone’ do not constitute the majority of women who strongly believe otherwise.

    It’s strange that you want me to believe that other women (your acquaintances) too hold opinions similar to yours while you yourself don’t want to believe what that ‘one’ woman (as mentioned in this blogpost) claim (the striking similarity that other women’s opinions bears with hers)

    How convenient does this all sound.

  8. Well no, it was a question based on what you said in your comments because none of it had anything to do with my original comment. You were speaking off-topic, it was not an assumption at all.

    “Even if I believe you for a moment that your stated intentions are genuine, (to not have gifts etc.)”
    The only way to have a discussion here is based on what we are saying to each other about our views. If you have issues believing me, then by all means don’t respond to me. Unless I have asked you for gifts at any time, there is no rational reason for you to disbelieve that I don’t want any.

    “It’s strange that you want me to believe that other women (your acquaintances) too hold opinions similar to yours while you yourself don’t want to believe what that ‘one’ woman”
    I said don’t generalise things to ‘women’, we are all individuals with different views. I never asked you to generalise my views rather the other woman’s, as you claim. I’m not saying my views are the majority, I’m saying no one person’s views can reflect the majority, unless you took a vote on the said view.

  9. @carvaka

    Well, following your logic, you shouldn’t have responded either on this blog in the first place since you treated the blogpost with suspicion.

    Frankly, I don’t see this discussion going anywhere.

  10. @Carvaka, @Aakash,

    Guys relax. These kind of personal fightings are not going to help anyone. We are not enemies, of course, not freinds either. But we can simply have discussion on the topic instead of indulgin in fights.

    Carvaka, I am bit busy today so unable to answer your questions. But definitely tomarrow i will give my answer. Thanks for visiting my blog.

    Aakash, thanks for visiting my blog. Let us just focus on the topic nothing else. Visit again.

  11. @Carvaka

    Can you please not generalise something one woman claimed to all ‘women’?

    It is not generalization as per many women writers and bloggers and feminists… etc. Look at their writings, did you ever find that they cautiously mention words like “only some men” in their writings? No, they simply says men are like this and men are like that. If anyone asks them or told them “not every man like that” or “why are you blaming every man”, then they reply them with a note. That note simply syas that they are not talking about all men, and they can’t mention it every time, readers have to understand that. That’s their standard answer.

    The same thing applies here also. Here where ever I mention women, it automatically implies “some women”, not “All women”.

    And in the first pera of the post, it is some women who claimed that many women have these feelings. That may be true or may not be true. Because, she mentioned that way I answered to those points.

    Anyway way, thanks for your views and keep visiting my blog 🙂

  12. @Aakash,
    Thanks for your contribution, keep visiting.. 🙂


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