The Mariatal Rape And Debates – Who Oppose it and Who Support It?

As expected govt didn’t included recommendations in Varma Committe’s report on AFSPA in the rape ordinance. Unexpectedly, they didn’t included the marital rape clause also. I must say govt act is sensible. They took lot of issues into consideration. But, this move doesn’t went well with women organizations .

They are opposing the ordinance and some of them even went to an extent to demand The President not to sign on the ordinance. Of course, president signed on it and Ignored their demand. Many news channels conducted debate on this issue.

Some channels, as usually, with their biased views invited only women organizations, no single person from men organization. But IBN-LIVE conducted a debate with both of them. Here is the debate …

I want to give some answers to the questions of member of women organizations and like to ask some questions too ..

Their (Women Organizations) question is, many women are forcefully married without their consent and forcefully put in the relationship. So, how can you say there is no rape? This is one of the question asked by women activist and repeated by Ms.Sagarika.

My answer to it is simple. If women forced into marriage who’s fault is that? Is it the fault of man who married her or the fault of her own parents? Who need to be blamed? who need to be booked? It’ her own parents not the husband, isn’t it?

Husband assumes, marriage and the first night after that is the consent for him to have sex with her, and it is the fact too. She is an adult, not a kid. She know what’s going on, she know what’s coming. Even knowing this she didn’t opposed it at early stage. Then how can anyone blame that poor man? it is her fault or her parents fault. Stop blaming man for this. Book the girl for ruining his life by marrying him or her parents for ruining two individuals lives.

Imagine a situation, A typical bollywood style scene, a woman entered into the room with milk glass in her first night, what a man think? What he will do? Should he ask her that, do she like this marriage? Even if she likes it, do she like to have sex now or not? Is it the man’s duty to ask her? Don’t she know what marriage is? Don’t she know what first night is? Is she a kid? Why to put every responsibility that exist in this world on men alone?

The whole drama assumes that man has to take care of everything. He has to take care of woman’s consent for marriage, woman’s consent for sex. But women simply sit because some one forced her or so-called patriarchy don’t allow her to talk and later she says, she was raped. Mind blowing.

What is marriage? In a marriage women can have a share in property, can have her rights on his earnings. It’s her right, remind you. But, when it’s come to sex, men must take permission. They don’t have right to have sex. They can only beg her for it, if she feel it’s fine, she may grant it. But after that she can paint it as a rape. that’s the problem. What if women consistently say no to sex because of some issues between them? There is no other option than seeking divorce for men. But if a man deny her that right or any other right, she can use law to punish him. That’s the difference.

And must say, all these discussion happens assuming men are the people who need sex. Men are the people who force the partner to have sex. But, it is not true at all. There are many situations women also became violent and raped men. That’s why the international standard says the rape laws must be gender neutral. But our women organizations don’t want gender neutral laws. Why?

They says, it is an exceptional case that women rape men. Let us assume, these cases are only few or exceptional. Still, why do they think that these few cases need not be punished under the law? Rape is a rape no matter how many happens or how rarely they happen, isn’t it? If women and women organizations think rape is a heinous crime why they don’t want to punish these women rapists? Why they don’t want justice for male victims? Do they really feel rape is heinous crime? Do they think rape in matrimonial home is acceptable if it happen on men?

But the truth is Rapes on men or boys are not exceptional cases or rare cases. They do happen, may be the number of instances are less compared to the rapes on women.  But we must notice that, society don’t recognition rape on men at all.  That’s the problem. In these circumstances how can women organizations claim rape on men don’t exist or very rare? First, recognize it and make a law to punish the offenders.

And one more thing, do govt make laws because a particular crime exist or because particular crime is rampant? If some kind of crime happens less frequently compared to another, does that a valid reason to not having a law to punish those criminals? What nonsense is this?

Published in: on February 13, 2013 at 8:23 pm  Comments (17)  
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