Why buying a house is the stupid idea for men in India !!

Generally, we have every right on what we buy. Nobody can deny our rights on it. In our life, house has very important role. Many people have sentiments on the house they own. People buy or build the house by spending lot of hard earned money and time. Many people feel emotional when they leave their own house or sell it. We do develop lot of affection. And most importantly, we assume, we have every right on that.

But those days were over sometime back. Now, you can be thrown out of your own house. And may be sometimes you are not even allowed to come near to it. It will be an offense and you can be punished for that!!

No, it’s not the work of land mafia or some supernatural power. That could be the work of your own family member, may be your beloved wife. Surprised?? Then I must say that your LawQ (law quotient 😛 ) is very poor. If you assume that law don’t allow this and you can get back your house using law, then I must say, you are living in wrong decade.

Your house can be occupied by your wife legally and you can be thrown out of it legally. The only difference is it’s not considered as occupying. Again surprised, then I must say about a law that came into force in 2005.

It’s none other than Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. Don’t be fooled by the name and come to a conclusion that it will protect every one from domestic violence. And don’t compare it with the laws already exist in some western countries.

This is a law that aimed to protect women and children from domestic violence. Men are not covered under this law, men are only perpetrators. And most of the times only women use this law not children. So, you can safely read it as “A law to Prevent Domestic Violence Committed by men on women and children”.

It is the law criticized by many including the supreme court as “A loosely drafted law”. It has many loopholes which can be exploited by unscrupulous women to harass husbands.

One of the important aspect of this law is right to residence for the women in the shared household. It doesn’t matter who is the owner of that house. So, she have the right to live in husband’s house. But, husband can live in it only if his wife permit him. If everything between man and his wife is well, then no problem. If not, it’s a big trouble for the man. She can simply file a case under DV Act and throw him out of his own house.

Of course, law don’t say this, directly. But it can be used that way. It is only made to protect women from the domestic violence. But to protect women, Men’s Rights can be sacrificed. Man can be sent out of his house, if court feel he is a threat to the wife. What a women need to provide as evidence to prove the man is a threat to her? nothing. She just need to file a case under DV Act, it is man’s duty to prove that he is not guilty of those charges.

Until he prove that, he may be barred from entering in his own house. May be surroundings where she live. Remember those accuses against men need not be true. They may be lies. But it is man’s duty to prove that. Even after proving that he is innocent, there will be no punishment for wife for filing false cases.

It’s not going to stop here. There is another law which is going to pass in one way or other way. That is IrBM (Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage). As per that law women are going to get 50% of what ever the property that man have. Even his ancestral property also comes into picture. So, after this the man’s house may be shared equally. Or may goes to women as a part of sharing all assents. So, A house, not at all man’s property anymore. It’s bad Idea to buy a house.

Most of the times men (lower class to upper middle class) buy house or build their dream house by taking housing loans. Every month they have to pay some amount as an EMI. Assume a situation, in which the man thrown out of his own house and still he has to pay the EMI every month and has to pay the rent to newly taken house for him. But wife and her family happily live in his dream house. Everyone who is friendly to her can enter into it, but not the man who bought/build it. Many men are already facing such situations. It is going to be worse in future.

DV Act + IrBM = Throw husband out of his own house until court order  +  Later divorce him and get half of the house legally.

Then what is the good option? Just stay in rented house. Let the women buy the house with her property. If not, just stay with her husband in rented house. If she file a DV case against him, he will be thrown out of his rented house, of course, he has to pay the rent for that. That’s true. But which one is better? thrown out of your dream home or a rented house? definitely the second one.

So, my advice is never buy a house. Always stay in rented one. Let the govt build some houses and give them to rent for all the people in the country. So, every family in the country simply pay rent to the govt.  Or let the women buy their house stay without any problem with exclusive rights on that house.

Always remember don’t save too much money either. Just have a life and enjoy it. Don’t let someone take out your hard earned money in the name of empowerment.


The biggest mistake that any man can do..!!

Three men met in the bar. They became friends because of their common friend “Scotch Whisky”. After sometime one man break his silence and started crying.

2nd Man: What happened? why are you crying? share with your bar-mates, buddy.

3rd Man: That’s true. If you share, you feel better.

1st Man: I am a gambler. I lost a lot of money in gambling. I sold my house to pay debts, I am a fool.

He said very sadly and apologetically.

2nd Man: That’s alright. We all do have some weaknesses. I too lost lot of money in IPL betting. It’s almost 10% of my entire property. You know, I am very much rich than you. What I lost is more than what you lost. So, I am the bigger fool than you.

1st Man: No, IPL betting is nothing is nothing if you compare it with gambling. You are little bit better than me.

2nd Man: No, Man. betting is worse than gambling. And that is the biggest mistake or sin that any man can do.

2nd man said little bit louder.

1st Man: Come on it can’t be true. Gambling is the worst. The biggest mistake a man can do.

1st Man also raised his voice and thumped the table to prove that he is damn serious.

After hearing this argument, 3rd man started crying.

Both 1st Man and 2nd Man surprised and look each others face.

What happened? why are you crying? both asked him.

3rd Man: Guys you both are very much better than me. You have weaknesses but I have none. I don’t smoke. I started drinking recently. Still, I lost my 70% of property. My kids don’t stay with me. I was thrown into jail for 2 months. I spend 5 years in legal battle, after that I give up and made out of court settlement by paying huge amount of money. My business also affected because of these and I am facing huge loses.

3rd Man stopped for a moment and asked, do you know what the mistake I have done?

1st Man & 2nd Man swung their heads horizontally and said “NO”.

3rd Man: My mistake is, I got married. After an year, my wife filed 498A case on me. I spend 2 months in jail, after that I got bail. I fought foolishly for 5 years, later made out of court settlement by paying huge money. Then she filed for divorce and demanded for 50% of share in my property and child custody. She got both and a bonus 20% of share in the name of child support. She went to US with my kids and settled there. After that only I started drinking.Now tell me guys, who is the biggest fool. What is the biggest mistake or sin that a man can do?

3rd Man became very emotional and started crying again.

After that 1st Man and 2nd Man didn’t talk. All of em just finished their drink and leaved the bar. From that day onwards, 1st Man and 2nd Man never cried and they never said gambling or IPL betting is the worst thing that a man can do.

PS: Right now other than losing 70% share in the property everything is possible and many men are facing this situation. But after IrBM pass in parliament, this entire story will become real and you just feel De javu after hearing plight of men one by one. So, Wake-up and oppose IrBM and all gender biased laws, and save yourselves and save your brothers and friends.

Is maintenance law fair with men?

I came to know that some people feel maintenance law is fair because it allows both men and women are eligible for maintenance depending on their financial position. They are right only partially. Because, law is fair but how people interpret them go against men generally. And need not to say, our women organizations feels that maintenance is man’s duty, women need not to pay, because traditionally it is man’s duty to provide. But these same women organizations says that if some one feel cooking is women’s duty then they are sexists.

I have a discussion in Indian home makers blog regarding this. I am pasting my comments here …

there are many cases where women got alimony or maintenance even when she is earning enough. May be the maintenance law is bit fair and gender neutral in nature but still our society feels, it is the duty of man to protect and provide. So, generally men has to pay maintenance. And women organizations strongly believe this and vociferously supports it.

Some court rulings …

1. A man earning 2000 asked to pay 1200 INR (60% of his salary) as maintenance  The Irony is wife Nalini earning 9000 INR per month, four times more than her husband. Still, man has to pay the maintenance.

Husband to pay 60% of salary as maintenance

2. Wife doing job and earning 20,000 per month (She did MBA), still she got 40,000 per month as maintenance from her hubby who is of course an IITian, but seems lost job because of the legal mess created during divorce procedure. Ironically, they are married for 12 days only. And he has to face the dowry case also additionally. ( No doubt he lost his job and self confidence also).

Rs40 thousand per month: Woman gets whopping alimony

3. And In one ruling man ordered to pay maintenance even though he is jobless. If the husband is jobless then why he need to take care of his wife? Why don’t wife do the job and pay maintenance to him? or no maintenance at all from either of them. Judge said .. ” A husband has to take care of his wife somehow or other even if he is jobless “.

Husband should pay maintenance even if he is jobless: HC

Then where is the equality? Where are all those self respected women?

Actually the problem is everyone interpret the law differently. It’s depend on judge. Some favors it, some don’t favors it. The general perception of the society influencing everyone.

Let us come to some other laws regarding money. Look at 498A or DV.  By (Mis)using them, women can get lot of money as maintenance legally and illegally (extortion).

IrBM Clause (Irretrievable breakdown of marriage) which allows women to claim share in man’s property. Actually women organizations tried to grab the property of man not only he earned but also the ancestral property. But it seems that didn’t worked. But, wife definitely get a share in man’s property. The Irony is when property shared, only man’s property considered for sharing not women’s property. What about this? I must say, because maintenance law is bit fair these laws are enacted to grab man’s property. Some feminists even said, because women are not getting property share, they are misusing 498A. So, to stop that man must share his property. How ridiculous ..!! There is no difference between these women organizations and the men who claim rapes happening because of dress that victim wear.

Why IrBM should be rolled back

And there is one more law in the queue which allows to share man’s property equally, including ancestral property. But I don’t think so, they are going to consider women’s property for sharing. Where is that self respect now? Man is nothing but an ATM machine these day. He has to pay that’s all.

Published in: on March 24, 2013 at 8:52 am  Comments (9)  
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One man’s reply to a woman’s 10 wants that she feel men must know

Here I am listing 10 points that a woman claimed that most of the women feel, it’s better men know them and fallow them. And also I am giving my reply to each and every point.

(Note: here “we” means men and “you” means our partners, I an not saying this to any specific person, but in general to the life partners/girlfriends of men)

1. We love the way you courted us jab we met. The texts, calls, flowers, chocolates, cards, airport pick-ups, weekends away. Please don’t stop this when you know you ‘have us’.

Why we men need to shower you with gifts, flowers and etc always. Can’t you just understand that man loves you? Initially we are in a mood to impress you and want to get attention from you so we do all these. Once we get your love, we are in love. it’s a beginning of the next stage. Here, even we don’t shower you with gifts, we care for you a lot. We do many things when you are in need but may not shower you with gifts and try to impress you all our life. We are not jobless, please understand that.

2. We like security and a feeling of familiarity. Give us a chance to get to know you, before hitting on us.

Security granted. But We too like to know familiarity so we do have different methods to check that.

3. We want to be treated as ladies. Not as unequals. We don’t expect you to open every door and foot every bill, but it doesn’t mean we don’t find your gestures of genuine chivalry very attractive. Even the most independent woman wants to feel she is treasured and adored as an object of beauty, just as long as it doesn’t go so far that the man insists on making her every decision.

So, women want equality, at the same time like to be pampered with chivalry. What kind of equality it is? chivalry is chauvinism. Even if we do show chivalry initially, please oppose it. It helps us to develop a good feeling about you, and we will recognize the importance of equality. Pay the bills, if not always at least sometimes, don’t say it. please .. just do it. we always recognize that.

4. We like to talk. This does not mean we are asking for your opinion or that we want you to magically fix all our problems. Mostly, we just need to vent. And we love it so much when you really hear us. Listen cos that’s all you need to do.

We like to keep everything simple. Especially talks. If it is about a our favorite movie or cricket we too talk endlessly. But it is about a problem, which may not be a problem or really a problem, we feel little bit uncomfortable to listen that without doing anything about it. We generally try to solve it. Remember we like solving the problem, not listening it endlessly.

5. We expect you to remember relationship landmarks. You love technology, so when we tell you our anniversary is coming, or our birthday, put it in your planner, so you remember. You remember meetings, and cricket scores, so remember birthdays, it’s not that hard.

Remembering landmarks is not a big Issue these days, we can simply put it on calender or facebook or some other remainder tool. So, It’s granted. You can expect that and we don’t disappoint you.

6. We love an excuse to get dressed up. Give us the chance to sizzle in our glam wardrobe. Don’t get nervous if other guys look at us. Remember we’re on your arm.

Thank you. But, we too love to see beauty and admire it. So, In the street, if we see any other beauty and admire her don’t feel nervous. Because, the women we admire is safely in the arms of her man, just as you are in my arms. So, don’t be nervous, nothing will happen.

7. Keep your promises. We like simple courtesies. Be on time, do whatever you said you were going to, and if things have changed, muster up the courage to tell us upfront.

Granted. And we just expect little bit courtesy kindness from you, if things change or we fail to do them because of some reasons.

8. Love for us begins in the mind. Just like you like the sensuous curves, we like the dinners, romance and dreamy conversation. 

Granted, as far as you don’t criticize us for loving your curves and stereotype us as “men always think that way” or sex-maniacs.

9. We also love sports, (I am a martial arts and a basketball player) but it does not mean that it has to be the same game you play. 

Granted, we just ask you to not disturb us while we are in gaming mode and watching our favorite game.

10. We don’t want you to give up on guys nights. Believe it or not, we understand that you need space. We love our all-girl time as well. 

Thank you. Have a nice all-gril time, we don’t mind.

Published in: on February 13, 2013 at 9:33 pm  Comments (12)  

The Mariatal Rape And Debates – Who Oppose it and Who Support It?

As expected govt didn’t included recommendations in Varma Committe’s report on AFSPA in the rape ordinance. Unexpectedly, they didn’t included the marital rape clause also. I must say govt act is sensible. They took lot of issues into consideration. But, this move doesn’t went well with women organizations .

They are opposing the ordinance and some of them even went to an extent to demand The President not to sign on the ordinance. Of course, president signed on it and Ignored their demand. Many news channels conducted debate on this issue.

Some channels, as usually, with their biased views invited only women organizations, no single person from men organization. But IBN-LIVE conducted a debate with both of them. Here is the debate …

I want to give some answers to the questions of member of women organizations and like to ask some questions too ..

Their (Women Organizations) question is, many women are forcefully married without their consent and forcefully put in the relationship. So, how can you say there is no rape? This is one of the question asked by women activist and repeated by Ms.Sagarika.

My answer to it is simple. If women forced into marriage who’s fault is that? Is it the fault of man who married her or the fault of her own parents? Who need to be blamed? who need to be booked? It’ her own parents not the husband, isn’t it?

Husband assumes, marriage and the first night after that is the consent for him to have sex with her, and it is the fact too. She is an adult, not a kid. She know what’s going on, she know what’s coming. Even knowing this she didn’t opposed it at early stage. Then how can anyone blame that poor man? it is her fault or her parents fault. Stop blaming man for this. Book the girl for ruining his life by marrying him or her parents for ruining two individuals lives.

Imagine a situation, A typical bollywood style scene, a woman entered into the room with milk glass in her first night, what a man think? What he will do? Should he ask her that, do she like this marriage? Even if she likes it, do she like to have sex now or not? Is it the man’s duty to ask her? Don’t she know what marriage is? Don’t she know what first night is? Is she a kid? Why to put every responsibility that exist in this world on men alone?

The whole drama assumes that man has to take care of everything. He has to take care of woman’s consent for marriage, woman’s consent for sex. But women simply sit because some one forced her or so-called patriarchy don’t allow her to talk and later she says, she was raped. Mind blowing.

What is marriage? In a marriage women can have a share in property, can have her rights on his earnings. It’s her right, remind you. But, when it’s come to sex, men must take permission. They don’t have right to have sex. They can only beg her for it, if she feel it’s fine, she may grant it. But after that she can paint it as a rape. that’s the problem. What if women consistently say no to sex because of some issues between them? There is no other option than seeking divorce for men. But if a man deny her that right or any other right, she can use law to punish him. That’s the difference.

And must say, all these discussion happens assuming men are the people who need sex. Men are the people who force the partner to have sex. But, it is not true at all. There are many situations women also became violent and raped men. That’s why the international standard says the rape laws must be gender neutral. But our women organizations don’t want gender neutral laws. Why?

They says, it is an exceptional case that women rape men. Let us assume, these cases are only few or exceptional. Still, why do they think that these few cases need not be punished under the law? Rape is a rape no matter how many happens or how rarely they happen, isn’t it? If women and women organizations think rape is a heinous crime why they don’t want to punish these women rapists? Why they don’t want justice for male victims? Do they really feel rape is heinous crime? Do they think rape in matrimonial home is acceptable if it happen on men?

But the truth is Rapes on men or boys are not exceptional cases or rare cases. They do happen, may be the number of instances are less compared to the rapes on women.  But we must notice that, society don’t recognition rape on men at all.  That’s the problem. In these circumstances how can women organizations claim rape on men don’t exist or very rare? First, recognize it and make a law to punish the offenders.

And one more thing, do govt make laws because a particular crime exist or because particular crime is rampant? If some kind of crime happens less frequently compared to another, does that a valid reason to not having a law to punish those criminals? What nonsense is this?

Published in: on February 13, 2013 at 8:23 pm  Comments (17)  
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