Martyrs of Marriage – A Documentary on 498A misuse

We have many laws. They all misused by someone. But 498A is different. It is the provision misused more than any other law. Almost 98% of the them are misused. Used to settle scores rather than getting justice. Many feminists says, all laws are misused then why to cry only on 498A? I know it is ridiculous argument, perhaps, they too know it. But they don’t mind using the same argument again and again.

It’s true that many laws are misused, but how many laws have the provision to arrest entire family? even a toddler? There are many cases where a toddler also booked for harassing an adult women. And how many of them non-bailable, cognizable and non-compoundable? How many laws we have which misuse termed as “Legal Terrorism” by supreme court? There is only one answer. There are none other 498A. Of course, recent law passed on Sexual harassment at workplace or Nirbhaya law may surpass this, just wait and watch.

Men’s Rights Activists fought tirelessly to stop this menace in the name of protection of women from harassment. We are not against laws, we are against the misuse of laws. We are for gender neutral laws. Not for biased and anti-male laws.

One of the Men’s Rights Activist, Deepika Narayan Bharadwaj, making a documentary on this 498A misuse. “The Martyrs of Marriage”. Martyrs .. yes, we can call them as martyrs. There are many men and women who became martyrs, some of them for marrying a woman, some of them for being sisters or mothers of such a man. The promo of this documentary is heart touching. If you are a victim, you can relate their pain with you pain. If you are not a victim, you definitely empathise with them. This is one of the best promo, I ever watched on misuse of 498A.

Back to the feminists argument, there are many laws misused then why you are crying on 498A only? Well, there are many crimes happening in the world, both men and women are the victims of them. If fact, more men are the victims of the crimes than women. Then, why our feminists are crying on crime against women only??

What makes men rape ? are domination or humiliating victim sole reasons behind it ??

This post is a response post to comments that I got in response to my comment in the Indian Homemaker’s blog post ” What makes men rapes ? “. She didn’t published my comments, yet. So, I am posting them here. 

What that blog post says : It says that men rape because they want to dominate or humiliate woman.

But, I have a different point of view. It’s not just domination or humiliation of the victim are the reasons for rape. There are other reason including social depravity of men, lack of law or punishment also causes to rapes. When soldiers conquer another nation they rape many women because they know that they are not going to be punished for their acts, in general. If you see the history every war has these kind of rapes. And there are some other reasons as well. But IHM’s post Ignores them and only talk about domination and humiliation angle.

My first comment in that post is .. (link)

Wrong. If rape is all about humiliating the victim, why do men rape children of age which can’t understand the meaning of humiliation at all? What kind of power they feel when they are raping little children? I am talking about both men and women here. In a patriarchal country/society like India only men considered as rapists but not in the western culture. There are many cases where women punished for raping little boys and even grown up men. The total argument that men want to punish women is seriously faltered. This kind of argument gaining popularity only after feminists entered into the picture and started funding the studies and researches and opposing any study that seriously debunk their myths.

She published this comment. I got many responses for this comment. I responded to them again. But they didn’t get published yet. So, I am pasting those comments here.

One comment by “MR” in reply to my comment is here (link) …

MR: somehow the cases of men being the aggressors are higher in india

Ekalavya: This is the problem with feminism or any other so-called English knowing educated people. When it comes to rape there is no difference between the rapist in west or the rapist in far east and certainly no difference in rapes in India.

MR: why only men raped the journalist? how come a gang of women didn’t go after the male journalist???

Ekalavya: Right question. every feminist in India must ask this question to themselves. Why they don’t accept that women also rape. Why they don’t accept that women also harass men sexually at workplace? Why groping of man is considered as a favor to the man but not an assault on the man? If a man claims he was raped, why everyone laughs? Because, they treat it as a favor not a rape. When it comes to rape of women, it is domination or humiliation, but when it comes to rape of man it is all about sex, men are ready for sex, if they get it they are lucky. Are these double standards or the indication that what they actually feel about rape? few people in this blog accepted that rape happen on men too, though they quickly added a suffix statement “It is very very less” to that to cover the damage. Most of the feminist don’t accept for the “Gender neutral rape law” or “Gender neutral prevention of sexual harassment law”. That’s shows how serious they are on rape, When it happen on other gender.

MR: but rape seems to be more prevalent in india especially in males.

Ekalavya: Buddy, you seriously need some googling. Go and google about statistics about rape. India’s place is much better than the so-called liberated US and Europe. Where feminism thrives.

another comment by “Sangitha” here (link)

Sangitha: One major difference is that we’ll pick one case and take an opposite pole position just for the heck of it

Ekalavya: Where we did that. We are not picking one case to refuse the other Issue, rather I am taking the opposite case to explain something important. What’s wrong in it, when it can proves a populist belief as half truth or not truth?

Sangitha: Your kind of denial is part of justification, something the rapist AND Indian society have a lot of practice doing. We’re so good at justifying that we wonder why a person went somewhere at 6 pm to do her job, in a supposedly safe place with a male colleague.

Ekalavya: Oh!! great. When someone oppose your POV or a populist POV they become rape apologists. We are damn good at suppressing any other argument against a populist belief and painting that person as someone who she/he is not. Isn’t it? I am not giving justification to rapes, I am giving explanation to why rape happens. There is a difference between them, if you are ready to see.

Sangitha: “I have no control elsewhere, if I get it by raping a child, hey, I got control, so what if it was a child!”

Ekalavya: Still, a children don’t know about these words. All they feel is something happen to them that they don’t like. The modesty or “My body, my right” kind of things comes into their mind once the society inject them into it. IMO, the definition of rape is patriarchal. We never consider it as pure violation of someone’s choice. We attach many thing to that. Men and women both do this. As far as we can’t stop this mentality exist withing us, rapes do happen at this level.

Sangitha: Let’s take the men-versus-woman attitude out – at least if we want to think solutions. For pointless discussion, by all means, let’s gender bash!

Ekalavya: Oh well, we are talking about genders. Men vs women is just an unavoidable phenomena. And women happily do this as far as other person start pointing the wrongs that women do to men.

Another comment by “Fem” here (link)

Fem: Most child abuse, sexual or otherwise, occurs because the perpetrators have no control over their own lives, so they seek to control little children who really can’t fight back.

Ekalavya: Wrong. They do it because they are easy targets. They are innocent and they don’t know many things. Many times, rape is not about purely dominating the victim or humiliating victim though rapist need to dominate the victim physically at first to rape. For this reason they chose some one who is physically weaker than them and make it sure that they don’t oppose much. If they oppose, they resort to violence to control them. That’s how most rapes happen. And I am not saying that all rapes happen in this way. There are exceptions. Society attaches many things to women. Chastity, family pride and other things. That’s why rape is also considered as punishment for women. I do agree that rape happen to humiliate or punish the victim, but I don’t agree that that is the only reason or in majority of the cases that is the reason.

Fem: I hope you are joking. Children have an acute sense of feeling from the time they are a few months old.

Ekalavya: I am not joking. I don’t joke when it comes to rape, that too on children. I agree that children have sense of feeling but they don’t have sense of chastity or family pride or some other things, that’s why I consider it like that (regarding humiliation and punishment). And when it comes to rapist feelings, controlling a child can’t satisfy their ego. Many rapists molest children like touching them inappropriately (I think I don’t need to explain this), they do it because the consequences of doing same to grown up woman are frightening. Children are easy targets and they are innocent so rapist go for them.

Fem: “The total argument that men want to punish women is seriously faltered.” Men wanting to punish women is not a feature of every rape. But in ‘honour-bound’ societies, this often happens. As long as society sees rape as shameful for the victims and her family, this theory holds true.

Ekalavya: Seems, this statement provoked many to go against me. Let me put it this way, “The total argument that men want to punish women as the sole reason for rape is seriously faltered”. My bad. I could have checked it before posting it. Our is honor bound society, I agree that. But we must remember that our is a sex starved society too. If we miss this angle, we don’t get a right picture on the rape.

Fem: Why are you scared of feminists?
Ekalavya: Read my comment again, I am not afraid of them. I am just pissed off of feminism.

Published in: on August 28, 2013 at 11:07 pm  Comments (1)  
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